GIFT # 1 - Who are you in times of adversity?

At graduate school, I am becoming aware of the need to be adaptable in times of changing and emergent needs. In the last month or so, despite my best intentions to share what I've learned for the day, it has occurred to me that I have ended many days with more questions than answers. And this is where the old me and the new me have been stuck, wrestling with each other.

The old me wants to share my wisdom, my knowledge, willing me to find some sort of answer by the end of the day. The new me is resting and sitting in ambiguity, accepting that I do not have all the answers. I am struck and stuck by many unanswered questions. My readings are indicating that it is totally OKAY not to know the answer immediately and that in asking questions, we begin to find our way to clarity. That journey to clarity may well be longer than we expect it to be. If I give up too soon because it's too confusing or too hard, I may never discover what was around the corner.

Therefore, I am adapting and adding GIFT to this TILT blog. This is where I will be entertaining my "Genuine Inquiry For Today". I will go ahead and ask my questions out loud here, even if I do not know the answer.

So, Friday, March 13th, 2020, some of hell broke lose as schools were ordered to close for two weeks as a response to Covid-19 entering our country. As a teacher and student, these first 24 hours were like tornado. Lots of information and uncertainty swirling around and some hitting me right in the face. I found myself unable to complete any task clearly and that was extremely frustrating.

By late Friday night, I was reminded of a question I was asked during my interview for graduate school. The faculty member asked me what 3 things I depended on during times of adversity. Here are my answers. 1: My faith. She (my interviewer) did not pursue this answer of mine. 2. My perspective on life. I teach my students that beyond looking at whether my glass is half empty or half full, I am thankful that I even HAVE a glass.

This is the me I returned to by Friday night. Assignments and papers be damned (for a short while, no offence, professors*). I reclaimed activities that I had lain aside when grad school started. I took time to reach out to friends, some elderly, some lonely. I decided to join my hubby and son the next morning to prepare food baskets for vulnerable families in my community. We have been monthly volunteers with West Island Mission for 10 years. It broke my heart to take a hiatus from this activity eight months ago while the rest of my family continued.

On Saturday, we were the only three people in the warehouse completing the food bags for pick up by volunteer drivers to deliver. It felt like I had come home. This was my form of self-care. THIS is my identity. Grades and learning are important to me but being a decent and caring human being is worth so much more. *

Who are you in times of adversity? Good question to ponder. I am curious to know what you discover.

By the way, if you have any means to donate to West Island Mission, hunger does not take a break. In times of trouble, the most vulnerable are the ones who suffer the most. Here is the link to their website if you can offer support - http://www.wimmoi.org/ *I'm keeping on track with my deadlines :-)