TILT # 12 - To do or to be, that is the question...

It's Christmas Eve. A very unusual one for me, having discovered in the last few months that I am a mere mortal. This part-time work and full-time student identity coupled with that of wife and mom has thrown a real monkey wrench into my Christmas traditions.

Normally by this time, the dining table is set and ready to receive the family for brunch on Christmas morning. The fridge is packed with all the goodies that will be served when we awake. The gifts are wrapped and under a brightly lit Christmas tree normally decorated using a two-colour scheme (red and gold or blue and silver). Garlands wrap around the stairs and there are tins of at least 6 different kinds of cookies. Soon after midnight, after the family goes to bed, I get ready a plate of cookies and some chocolate milk for Santa plus carrots for the reindeer.

This year, I have prepared nothing. Zilch.

Up until this evening, I could not see my dining room table. So fully covered with notebooks, articles, textbooks, etc. it was. My coffee table in the living room was similar. Life has been filled with work from school and work and I've barely managed to stay afloat.

Many times in the last couple of weeks, I've heard the voices in my head taunting me about my lack of Christmas preparations. I did not even have any teacher gifts ready for my son's teachers. This year, I am rejecting the lies that I have to be a Martha Stewart to be worthy of value.

When my kids indicated they were interested in having a Christmas tree, I asked them to speak to their dad about getting the tree out of the basement so they could decorate it. When they said they wanted Christmas cookies, I asked them to pick their top 3 favourites and I printed recipes and set out the ingredients for them to do the baking.

I am learning that I do not have to do everything to be considered valuable. And if people only appreciated me because I could do things, ouch, that's not a very meaningful group of people to be among, no?

As the clock ticks away and Christmas morning arrives, I am celebrating setting my boundaries and being completely okay with no guests on Christmas day, no decorations, and no fancy schmancy meal prepared. I am celebrating my freedom from doing.

Merry Christmas to those celebrating and Happy Holidays to all.

PS - got to tidy enough by bedtime to get my dining table back but sorry Santa, still no cookies and milk for you this year.